full speed ahead

everlast

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August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 April 2015

Sunday, April 20, 2014

second

1. school is staring tomorrow and saying i'm not worried/scared would be a lie. mouths are bound to run, people are expected to pass judgement, i am more than likely to give in.

2. not going to lie; true progress has come to a halt. i don't know what i want anymore? i want recovery, but i crave the comfort of being 30.2. i want restoration, yet i yearn for the damage i was dealing with. (as you can see i want too many things and need to learn to be content with what i have lol haha) conflicted would be the state i am lingering most in at present, and if i were to fill in the "about me" blank for anything, indecisive would be my choice of adjective. i've been taking one step forward and one step back which basically leaves me stuck. at least it's not two steps back but with the holidays coming to an end, that second step might seem extremely appealing. who knows? yes yes beauty doesn't last forever, but is that still applicable to someone who lives for the present?

give me strength/give me courage/give me steel balls/give me perseverance/give me contentment

give me clarity

3. triggers. what do i do when even the people i hold closest to me are triggers? the answer with regards to recovery would be to let go of these relationships, but without them would i really be happy? less triggers, less anxiety, but also less comfort from them. on the flip side, the alternate answer would be to leave everything as it is, but risk progress. how now?

4. i think it's time to get off the grid, twitter specifically. i don't know how it works but somehow twitter has a way of fucking things up. twitter aside, change would be a good idea right now. change of friends, change of mindset, change of perception. maybe it would've been a better choice to be admitted, stay as an inpatient and skip the upcoming school semester instead of being a stubborn fucker and refusing admission. if i had gone for that i would have to deal with less familiar faces who will see an unfamiliar yanni. an example of why decision-making should never be left in my hands.

-

anyway i created a dayre and realized it's actually quite entertaining (fun) hehe very cute stickers and stuff!!!!!


everlast ☯ Twitter ☯ ☯ Instagram ☯ ☯ Dayre ☯ ☯ Ask.fm ☯ ☯ Nicolette ☯ August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 April 2015	Sunday, April 20, 2014 second 1. school is staring tomorrow and saying i'm not worried/scared would be a lie. mouths are bound to run, people are expected to pass judgement, i am more than likely to give in. 2. not going to lie; true progress has come to a halt. i don't know what i want anymore? i want recovery, but i crave the comfort of being 30.2. i want restoration, yet i yearn for the damage i was dealing with. (as you can see i want too many things and need to learn to be content with what i have lol haha) conflicted would be the state i am lingering most in at present, and if i were to fill in the "about me" blank for anything, indecisive would be my choice of adjective. i've been taking one step forward and one step back which basically leaves me stuck. at least it's not two steps back but with the holidays coming to an end, that second step might seem extremely appealing. who knows? yes yes beauty doesn't last forever, but is that still applicable to someone who lives for the present? give me strength/give me courage/give me steel balls/give me perseverance/give me contentment give me clarity 3. triggers. what do i do when even the people i hold closest to me are triggers? the answer with regards to recovery would be to let go of these relationships, but without them would i really be happy? less triggers, less anxiety, but also less comfort from them. on the flip side, the alternate answer would be to leave everything as it is, but risk progress. how now? 4. i think it's time to get off the grid, twitter specifically. i don't know how it works but somehow twitter has a way of fucking things up. twitter aside, change would be a good idea right now. change of friends, change of mindset, change of perception. maybe it would've been a better choice to be admitted, stay as an inpatient and skip the upcoming school semester instead of being a stubborn fucker and refusing admission. if i had gone for that i would have to deal with less familiar faces who will see an unfamiliar yanni. an example of why decision-making should never be left in my hands. - anyway i created a dayre and realized it's actually quite entertaining (fun) hehe very cute stickers and stuff!!!!!