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Monday, June 24, 2013
prevention To the anonymous who kept asking if I have an ED: Saturday, June 22, 2013
term break loh
I am genuinely thankful to my mother not only for this trip and the things bought on this trip, but basically everything. I admit I am pretty spoilt and stuff but you have no idea of how grateful I am towards my mother. Well, even she herself doesn't have an idea because ego.
Anyway:
Went to Kiseki for this year's fathers' day dinner before leaving for Bangkok and holy shit I have a very extreme love-hate relationship with buffets. More towards the hate side but well, when you're hungry and greedy the love just blossoms. On another note, I love my father. He annoys me a shitload but well I annoy him a shitload more soooooooooo yeeeahhhh... I have never said that before but recently it just hit me that my mother and father are the ones who have been and will be there for me when shit hits the fan. I guess I always knew that deep down, but warped priorities were/are warped and the disorder just blinded me and clouded my judgements I guess. I just really want to be able to tell them that I'm sorry, I'm grateful, and that I love and appreciate them and all that they have done for me. /sigh/ Thursday, June 20, 2013
i I am satiated of the hunger for more.
I am quenched by the thirst for the unnecessary.
I, am selfish.
Friday, June 14, 2013
content? She has everything. She has loving parents. She has loving brothers. She has an overflowing wardrobe. She has constant opportunities to go overseas. She has a nice house to call her home. She also has the taste of bile stuck in her throat. She also has a never-ending fear that's eating her alive. She also has the uncertainty that this fear brings. She also has loneliness to keep her company. She also has the disability to tell anyone anything. She has everything. Monday, June 10, 2013
disposal ...
Was that how much I meant to you?
Saturday, June 8, 2013
images
Some pictures from late May??? till the beginning of June:
Extremely grateful for everything and everyone but honestly, this period has been horrible. Don't you just hate it when you lose one for another but end up losing everything? Yet you know that you took the risk and it turned out bad, and you have no one else to blame but yourself. Also, I will never know the value of whatever that was to you and fuck that sucks balls. The term break has started which kind of sucks cause there's no school to act as distraction but at the same time, I'll have all the time in the world to sleep. Weh. Friday, June 7, 2013
falling asleep Old habits really do die hard. The balloon has deflated and it seems like everything's descending once again. So so tired, and the tiredness just keeps cumulating. There are monsters living in these eyebags that refuse to go away but it's alright I guess. I've never had a hand that I could hold on to and I don't think I ever will. And that's alright as well I guess. Monday, June 3, 2013
I AM BACKSLIDING ACTUALLY NO WHO WAS I KIDDING FUCK NOTHING IS BETTER THINGS ARE STILL THE SAME STAGNANT WATERS REMAIN STAGNANT AND THIS DISEASE JUST CANNOT BE TAMED IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE IT WAS NEVER FUNNY OH RIGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE LAUGHING WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE NOT CARING NOTHING NEW THOUGH I GOT USED TO IT THEREFORE I DECIDED TO KEEP THE LIGHT DIMLY LIT ALL THEY WILL SEE ARE SHADOWS AND THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH CAUSE ONCE THE SHOW IS OVER THEY WOULD ALL JUST HAVE HAD A GREAT LAUGH you never know
But some things are certain:
When it's your time to go, your sins will be forgiven by everyone you know.
When it's your time to go, all your lies and secrets get buried in the snow.
When it's your time to go, nothing really matters when you're six feet down below.
When it's your time to go, there's no one left in heaven and hell is just a hoax.
Everybody loves you when you're fucking dead. |
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