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Sunday, March 31, 2013
of eggs, bunnies and redemption
Happy easter day! Went to church today as usual and someone came up to me and told me he was praying for me. By right, I should genuinely be thankful for people bothering to keep me in their prayers or something. But when it comes to religion, I have to admit 'by right' doesn't cut it for me and I have to go 'by left'. So instead of feeling glad about being prayed for and feeling blessed and shit, all I could think about was how I'm not worth/ in need of their 'words of faith'. Or a faith for that matter. I'm not badmouthing christianity or any other religion, but I'm just saying that I can't bring myself to dedicate so much to something that is so uncertain; nothing was/ is set in stone, and I don't think I want more bleakness in my life. Then why bother going to church? Simply because if I don't, it will bring add another layer of unhappiness to the already pretty thick stack of negative feelings I have caused my parents to feel. Hence if this layer isn't necessary, I'm unwilling to add it into that stack. I swear I'm trying to buck up at being a less shit person. But it's not exactly easy.
On another note,
To vaguely sum up Friday and Saturday I guess. Heh.
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