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Friday, March 29, 2013
for crying out loud



 Today has been a good but bad day. It could've been a completely good day, but once again temptation is the victor and I am the loser. I'm so sick of constantly being trampled over by temptation, so sick of the bitter taste of defeat, so sick of this overwhelming sense of guilt. It's a fucking vicious cycle and it has to stop. It's just vile and disgusting, how I give in so easily despite knowing clearly how harmful it is. I absolutely hate it, detest it, and desperately need learn to rebuke it; but as usual, it's easier said than done. Contrary to popular belief, effort does not always equal to reward and you simply do not always reap what you sow. 

 I know I should be grateful for everything that I have, but sometimes I can't help feeling that life is constantly giving me lemons and I never seem to be able to make lemonade.