full speed ahead

everlast

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August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 April 2015

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

There are five big days to the start of the big Os.

I don't know if I'm doing it right. How do you know if you're putting in enough effort? Does it mean I have to clock in a minimum number of hours each day? Is time the appropriate form of measurement?

This really fucking sucks.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

There are six days to the start of the big Os.

I want to believe in myself, I really do. The question is, how do you believe in something you can't find?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

There are nine days to the start of the big Os.

Why is it that both of them are so hard to decipher? Why is it that both of them are so difficult? Why is it that both of them are always so near, yet so far?

For now, the answer to everything is because there are nine days to the start of the big Os. *sigh*

Friday, October 12, 2012

Oh

There are ten days to the start of the big Os.

Shit keeps hitting the fan in my mind and I can't stop it. What's new?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Solitude

There are twelve days to the start of the big Os.

I have never felt so alone, but then again maybe I have been oblivious all along. Not to anything specific, just plain oblivious. Perhaps I have been too caught up in others' perceptions of myself, or too engrossed in the things I crave for and desire.

I have gone blind. My sense of sight has been paralysed by selfishness and never-ending hunger; I have lost the ability to put others first and be the bigger person. I am no longer able to observe the world around me like I used to and understand. I am now more than indelible, more than unaffected, more than asleep. I am in need of more than a wake-up call. I am in need of help. I am in need of comfort. I am in need of shelter.

It feels like I'm free-falling in reverse, like one of those crazy amusement park rides, but the G-force is now of a negative value. It feels like I am out of this world (ha ha), banished from everyone else, just watching from afar. It feels like I'm an enemy of the world.

I wish I was simply free-falling. At least I would be looking up and not facing downwards. Things would always be looking up. Liberation would come so easily. Who would've thought someone with so little in them would have so much to bear? Oh, the irony.

Notice how there are so many 'I's? I should stop caring about me, myself and I all the time. I should learn to be a better person. Trying is not enough. Attempting is insufficient. I need to buck the fuck up.

Woah tada I just did it again! But all I was trying to do was sound the alarm. Oh, the fucking irony.

There are now eleven days to the big Os. Kudos to myself for managing to waste even more time than I already have. I have to say, I am a pretty accomplished person.


everlast ☯ Twitter ☯ ☯ Instagram ☯ ☯ Dayre ☯ ☯ Ask.fm ☯ ☯ Nicolette ☯ August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 April 2015	Wednesday, October 17, 2012 There are five big days to the start of the big Os. I don't know if I'm doing it right. How do you know if you're putting in enough effort? Does it mean I have to clock in a minimum number of hours each day? Is time the appropriate form of measurement? This really fucking sucks. Tuesday, October 16, 2012 There are six days to the start of the big Os. I want to believe in myself, I really do. The question is, how do you believe in something you can't find? Saturday, October 13, 2012 There are nine days to the start of the big Os. Why is it that both of them are so hard to decipher? Why is it that both of them are so difficult? Why is it that both of them are always so near, yet so far? For now, the answer to everything is because there are nine days to the start of the big Os. sigh Friday, October 12, 2012 Oh There are ten days to the start of the big Os. Shit keeps hitting the fan in my mind and I can't stop it. What's new? Thursday, October 11, 2012 Solitude There are twelve days to the start of the big Os. I have never felt so alone, but then again maybe I have been oblivious all along. Not to anything specific, just plain oblivious. Perhaps I have been too caught up in others' perceptions of myself, or too engrossed in the things I crave for and desire. I have gone blind. My sense of sight has been paralysed by selfishness and never-ending hunger; I have lost the ability to put others first and be the bigger person. I am no longer able to observe the world around me like I used to and understand. I am now more than indelible, more than unaffected, more than asleep. I am in need of more than a wake-up call. I am in need of help. I am in need of comfort. I am in need of shelter. It feels like I'm free-falling in reverse, like one of those crazy amusement park rides, but the G-force is now of a negative value. It feels like I am out of this world (ha ha), banished from everyone else, just watching from afar. It feels like I'm an enemy of the world. I wish I was simply free-falling. At least I would be looking up and not facing downwards. Things would always be looking up. Liberation would come so easily. Who would've thought someone with so little in them would have so much to bear? Oh, the irony. Notice how there are so many 'I's? I should stop caring about me, myself and I all the time. I should learn to be a better person. Trying is not enough. Attempting is insufficient. I need to buck the fuck up. Woah tada I just did it again! But all I was trying to do was sound the alarm. Oh, the fucking irony. There are now eleven days to the big Os. Kudos to myself for managing to waste even more time than I already have. I have to say, I am a pretty accomplished person.