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Monday, April 13, 2015
everything is never enough twelve and a half months ago i knew i wasn't sick enough. i didn't deserve anything i received - didn't deserve the time, didn't deserve the effort, didn't deserve the money - nothing. i might have been on the edge but evidently, i wasn't as close to it as i was hoping to be. i do admit though, the beginning was great. kind of felt like i stepped out of a 2.5-year-long winter and into spring. i guess spring wasn't meant to last though, as with everything else i acquire. Monday, January 26, 2015
"how have you been?"
making the parental front pay five hundred dollars every week for me to be an assurance granting factory. people put on their seat belts before taking off, i chug water before stepping into the room. my mouth is a liar, with my silver tongue in cheek; the dirt isn't only on my hands and knees. i'm smoking through everything in life but yet i can't hold smoke in my hands.
it is the itch on my back, the gum under my shoe, the chill that haunts the room, the creaking on my steps. it is cancer, it is plague, it is regret, it is disease. so tired of the rain falling, i hate how it's just enough to get my feet wet but not enough to let me drown.
i believe the correct answer is "selfish"
--
don't see the point of trying anymore
(nobody/nothing is constant)
maybe this is allowance to shrink again
Friday, January 9, 2015
if i were to objectify myself, i would be a sandwich someone casually picks up from a petrol kiosk.
"why not just"
living this life
barefoot on a slippery surface
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
i am okay this is okay
carved/carving the wrong things into stone
wrote/writing the wrong things on the sand
"30.2" vs. "healthy"
"the worse one" vs. "the one who's trying hard"
"y'know what's tiring..." vs. "if it came out the wrong way..."
making myself a bed at all the wrong places, when i don't even make my own bed
making a home out of all the wrong things, when i don't even make a home out of this home
word with the highest word count: wrong
Friday, November 7, 2014
recur 1. going to (not falling) asleep with wet hair every night again 2. once familiar thoughts have found a way to reclaim their position 3. we make things so hard for ourselves so easily Tuesday, October 21, 2014
favours
please do not make jokes out of my food
please do not ask me about my food
please do not do this to me
please do know that things are getting tough again
please do understand that i don't mean to be that way
please do this for me
please
Sunday, October 19, 2014
????holidays??????
basically my holidays:
this semester break wasn't how i expected it to be and unfortunately school doesn't seem any more exciting, with the new (disgusting) timetable and class. i had high hopes for the last hump day of the holidays and it was great, if i (could) ignore the (unnecessary) ruckus that took place that night. the funny thing is i might not have been involved in it but yet it had more impact than it should've on the night which had the potential to salvage this stale 1.5 month vacation. just like a comment off a past report card: has the potential but is not fulfilling it. maybe this is why i'm "finding it difficult to love you". but then again, i'm pretty sure it's not the only reason.
i digress.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
1. i thought you would have done the same for the day
2. not of enough importance to be replied to but the other half is
(haha it's all good)
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